We (almost) all agree that cats are so cute, so sweet, and so funny, as much so that they make us totally weak, if we have a heart and we know how to appreciate them at their true value. And if we think a little bit, we finally realize one thing: our cat has become our kid, our little lovely baby. Come dear, give Mom a kiss!
1. He sleeps with you
You know it’s not very good for his good conduct to do this, but at the same time it’s so good to sleep with your cat. He warms you in winter, gives you mute little sniffs and lulls you with its purrs. Even if he has totally ruined your sex life because he always gets between you and your partner, you do not care. He’s your baby after all.
2. You’ve already wiped his butt
You’ve already done it! There were times when your poor cat has diarrhea or soft poop, when he spoils his ‘pants’ look. Normally, cats, unlike human babies, should be able to clean themselves. Nevertheless, they may need your help, oh, your hands: your hands is his, isn’t it, Mom?
3. You prefer it to your boyfriend
He knows and is obliged to accept it under pain of breaking without notice. Never will the person who shares your life dare to say “you choose, it’s me or your cat” because he knows the answer.
4# You are always afraid for him
While he does not give a damn about lying on the edge of the window, over 20 meters of empty space. Oh no! Come down honey, you’re gonna hurt yourself!
5# You call him “my baby”
Even though he is already 9 years old and is obese. I’m no longer a baby, mom! Damn it, when are you going to consider cats’ age folks!
6. You always tick in the “1 child” box on the formal forms
When you actually have “just” a cat. I put it in quotation marks because the last person who told you it was “just” a cat you went sulking him for one year long.
7. You have already thought about introduce him into your family tree
You wanted to bequeath him this plaid that he sucks a little bit from time to time. Yeah, this plaid stinks of cat drool. But hey, you thought the process was complicated.
8. You buy him toys
You feel quite so happy to bring him small multicolored balls and bells. But he does not care much, he prefers the beer capsule he stole at the last aperitif you had.
9. He makes you go through crises of teens but you always forgive him
When people ask you what this huge notch in your arm, you answer them, “That? Oh, it’s just my cat is teething “.
10. Once he ran away and you had the fear of your life
You scolded up the police officers who did not want to pass a kidnapping alert spot during the news of 20:00. When you found your baby, you cooked fish for him for a week so that he never goes back to the old woman who fed all the cats in the neighborhood.
11. You talk to him all the time
“ Oooo, sweetie pie, how was your journey ?” What did you do when mom was out? “
12. When he says “meow” you hear “mom”
You’re sure that’s what he meant in cat language. Who dares say otherwise, should get ready for some word slashed from your mouth!
13. You were seeing a cat behaviorist when he stopped peeing next to the litter
And it cost you an arm. So much the worse for the holidays in Spain, you knew what it implied to have a child.
14. Tell your friends about your cat everyday routine
“You know what Tiger did yesterday?” We do not give a damn … “Well, Tiger, he jumped from there to there, look! No, but imagine, jump from there to there, at his age! It’s only 6 months! And the other time he opened the fridge all by himself!
15. His messy room
Go ahead then! I put all my toys under the TV cabinet, put you croquettes everywhere without you eating, always vacuum to pick up hair … this cat is a real child!